Batman
by Randomonium
Summary: Holland stealth paint Batman. And two very hysterical girls. It's just a bit of fun. I think we might have been high. No clue on what, though. Don't think we had enough oxygen in our brains. Talking too much.


Spoof of that Eureka 7 episode in which Holland kills that Charles dude and wears stealth paint and a red mask and looks like a freakin' IDIOT

**Spoof of that Eureka 7 episode in which Holland kills that Charles dude and wears stealth paint and a red mask and looks like a freakin' IDIOT!!**

Talho walked into her room. Holland, stealth paint already on, was just standing there.

"Hey, Talho," he said as she passed him- she hadn't quite noticed him yet.

"Hey, Holland," she said, glancing at him. She did a double-take and jumped back.

"AAAAAAAAGH!!"

She stared, wide-eyed, at him, taking in his appearance. He was a grey/purple colour from head to toe, including his hair, except for a bright red eye mask and black underwear- boxer/briefs. He wasn't wearing anything else. A truly terrifying sight.

"What happened? Is it contagious?" she asked fearfully.

"…….No, it's stealth paint," he said.

"Oh phew." she let out a sigh of relief.

He reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Please don't touch me looking like that," she requested, detaching his hand from her arm. Then…

"OH MY GOD YOU GOT SOME ON ME!! Get it off get it off get it OFF!!" she yelled, furiously wiping the grey mark on her arm. Luckily, it came off easily.

"Oh, whoops. It hasn't quite dried yet," he said sheepishly.

"Don't touch ANYTHING until it does, you hear? Absolutely nothing," she told him sternly.

"Yes, ma'am!"  
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**In the hold**

"Hey, Charles!" Holland ran across into the open.

Charles stared at him. "OMG IT'S BATMAN!!" he squealed.

Holland stopped in his tracks and stared at him. "Batman?"

"I can't believe Holland hired Batman!!" Charles said in awe.

"Um…I _am _Holland," Holland told him.

"Batman lives in Holland?"

'No, I AM Holland."

"Holland has it's own Batman?"

"No, I. Am. Holland."

"OMG I DISCOVERED BATMAN'S TRUE IDENTITY!!"

"NO!! I AM NOT BATMAN!! I AM HOLLAND!"

'…..But you're Batman."

"No I'm not, I'm Batman- I mean, Holland- GAH YOU'VE GOT ME SAYING IT NOW!!"

**After Holland shot Charles**

"Can I at least kiss him goodbye?" asked Ray, on the verge of tears.

Talho stared at her. "You wanna kiss _that?_ That ugly thing? And it's dead?" she asked incredulously, pointing to the body lying in a pool of it's own blood on the floor.

"Wow, you're desperate."

"Excuse me, but have you _seen _what your boyfriend is looking like right now?" Ray countered, indicating Holland.

Talho looked over at him. "Well, _yeah_….but I don't kiss him when he looks like that. In fact, I don't even admit to _knowing _him when he looks like that! But you wanna kiss Raccoon Boy- _while _he's dead! By the way, did I mention that he's _dead_?!"

"Well…yeah…"

Talho looked at Ray sceptically. "Go ahead."

**When Holland ****realizes that Ray planted a bomb in Charles' mouth when she kissed him**

"TALHO!" Holland yelled.

Talho turned her head. "Huh?"

Holland tackled her.

_I can fly!! Batman can fly!! I'm flying!!_

He and Talho hit the ground.

_Oh….so THAT'S what the cape was for…_

**When Renton saw Holland **

"OMG BATMAN!! I'm YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!" Renton squealed, running over and hugging Holland around the waist.

Holland's eyebrow was twitching.

"Renton. Let. Go. Of. Me."

Renton let go, beaming. "Batman knows my name!! How do you know my name, Batman?"

"….I'm not Batman. I'm Holland."

Renton paled.

**Peace reigns. Still in the hold.**

"Holland, I wish you'd have gotten off me quicker," Talho sighed. "You bled on my clothes."

"…Sorry?"

"Doesn't matter, I was gonna burn them anyway."

"…Why?" Holland asked.

"You touched them while you where looking like that." she said.

"….Don't you think that's a little drastic?"

"Hilda!" Talho called.

Hilda came over.

"I wanna burn my clothes, Holland touched them while looking like _that_."

Hilda looked Holland up and down. "Honey, I don't blame you. I'll go get the incinerators ready."

Holland stared.

"What is it with woman?" he asked no-one in particular.

Mathieu walked past, and stopped, eyeing Holland.

"Talho, has he touched your clothes while looking like that?" he asked Talho.

"Unfortunately, yes, he has."

"…I suggest you burn them as soon as possible."

"I'm planning to."

"Wait, WHAT!" That was Holland, who stared at Mathieu incredulously.

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**Later…(Holland still looks like Batman.)**

Holland stretched and yawned. "Ok, I'm going to bed."

"Wait, you're going like THAT?" Talho asked.

"Um, yeah…"

Talho turned to Hilda.

"Hilda, can I sleep in your room tonight? I'll sleep on the couch. Hell, I'll sleep on the floor!"

"Why?" Hilda asked.

Talho wordlessly pointed to Holland.

"Oh. Of course!! I wouldn't allow you to endure the punishment of sleeping in the same room as that!!"

**The next morning. (Holland STILL looks like Batman.)**

Talho burst into her room. "Holland, do you love me?" she cried.

Holland looked at her, surprised. "…Yes?"

"Then take that paint and mask off!!"

"…I can't."

Talho stared. "…Whaddaya mean you can't?"

"I can't."

"You mean you're stuck like that forever? NO!! I can't let MY child see it's father looking like THAT!!" she cried.

"…..Child?" Holland asked.

Talho blushed and looked away sheepishly. "Oh…whoops…About that…I'm kinda…well…pregnant…"

THUD.

Holland hit the floor.

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**A/N:….eh-hem…. This is something that originated when a friend (Talhofan on ) and I saw Holland in stealth paint and…well….I don't know. This just happened. Don't ask why we called Holland Batman. We just did. To this day we cannot look at a picture of Batman without cracking up laughing. And, seriously, Batman is FOLLOWING us. STALKING us. Like, ALL OVER SCHOOL. And one of the Batman pictures in school (which was right next to head during my Latin exam- did NOTHING for my concentration) was wearing womens underwear. Which conjured up….odd images. (Talhofan is still traumatized. I didn't really help.) Anyway, hope it made you laugh- it certainly made us laugh. It's just for fun.**

**HHHhgsdkaf**


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